


Love Letter

by D3arSh3rry



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Break Up, Drama, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Ice Skating, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Marriage, Romance, Yaoi, Yaoi on Ice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:35:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24420682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D3arSh3rry/pseuds/D3arSh3rry
Summary: Yuuri leaves a love / breakup letter to Viktor after winning the silver medal. Disappointed in himself and seeing no future for their relationship, he decides to disappear. But is Viktor going to let him run away that easily ?
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Love Letter

_« You were my dream. You were all my hopes and expectations. I had admired you since childhood, copying every gesture of yours, hoping to get closer to your perfection. You were all I desired. And so much more. Even if I didn’t know a thing about your real self. Even if I was so far from knowing how kind and how careless you can be. Even if I was so far from knowing the joy of spending even just a second by your side. And how happy would I have been at the time to imagine your smile directed at me. That tender look you gave me at times. You were unreachable. Yet, I wanted you._

_I thought I had kept it from you. I thought I was able to meet your expectations. I thought I knew the pain of failure. But I couldn’t forgive myself. Betraying you was what I feared the most. I wanted you to trust me, my words and the promisses I pledged. I wanted you to trust these words I never delivered for anyone else. I was lying to myself. I thought I could take the distance. I thought I could accept you leaving. I thought I could do anything for you. What an idiot for having believed that so whole heartedly. Under my ingenuous air, my childish egoism, I found this flame. I didn’t want to admit that it was there. I wanted to ignore its existence. I didn’t want to realise what you meant to me, and even less what you would represent if I let my heart be yours. I didn’t want to see it burning for you._

_In your arms, I would have found my salvation. That is why, I wanted to tie you down. To me. I wanted you to be mine. I first asked you to look at me. To not look away. I wanted to monopolise you by any means necessary. Then I tried to be the only one reflected in your beautiful blue eyes. Even if that was impossible. I wanted you to achieve the impossible. I wanted to enchant you. I wanted to cast a spell on you. I wanted to chain you down so you wouldn’t be able to leave me. It scared me. That you had such freedom. That there was nothing holding you back. I couldn’t give you that opportunity. Yet, I had no confidence. I had to tie you down by other means. No matter how cowardful they were._

_I searched my crumbling heart for our memories, our choreographies. I gave you that ring, the emblem of my dreams and the union I hoped for. My heart trembled hard when I touched your hand hadn’t back then. When your faire skin came in contact with mine and I put that ring on you. But it trembled even harder when you did the same for me. I became unable to lie to you. Of tearing my eyes away from you. From the fate my heart envied. I wanted to be the only one by your side. I wanted to be more special than anyone else. I wanted to be the only one in your arms, the only one to touch your lips. I wanted to share your pain, and your bliss. I wanted to know your heart. I wanted you to understand. Everything. About me. I wanted you to know everything I had to confess. I wanted to know the thousand thoughts I am lying on paper right now. I wanted you to know that there was someone who loved you this much._

_We were too close. We were ready to burn our wings for that. We ignored every warning to taste that exquisite, divine sensation, away from the common people and their pretences. We wanted our everything. We were senseless and reckless, that’s what we were. We didn’t want to pay the price for such gift, such a magnificent meeting that God permitted._

_But I finally opened my eyes. I don’t want to take you down with me. In my downfall. I don’t want to become a burden that you carry despite yourself. I want to see your dreams come true. I want to see your heart fulfilled on the ice. I want to admire you, once again. Simply. I am not going to sacrifice your talent to satiate my longings, this love that was born in me. You were the first. I learned everything from your. You were the first and the only one to make my heart shiver._

_I wanted to lie. I didn’t want to be this infatuated. I didn’t want you to be the only one I could ever fall in love with. I didn’t want to realise how devoted I am to you. I didn’t want to love you this much. So much that I had to leave you. So much that I would contemplate my retirement, even though ice-skating is all my life. So much that I am going crazy thinking about you. So much that I end up regretting._

_Now you know. I told you everything, wrote everything down. I wonder if this really was the only solution. If there was no way for us to be together. If there was no way for us to be happy without the little schemes. If I could not be the one for you. But it is too late now._

_I found this love on the ice. And I wanted it to die on the ice. With this last goodbye. You were always everything to me. And you will always be._

_I love you, Viktor._

_Your Yuuri »_

Viktor took the letter in his hands, his face covered in warm tears. Abandoned on a bedside table, in a hotel room he was about to leave. Its owner had thrown it away. But the ink that tainted the paper proved he was crying while writing. Proved the grief and sorrow he withstanded while baring himself out. All for this last confession. For this last honest declaration. Unable to decide, unable to take the first step, Viktor stood there. Alone, inert, he was looking for the right answer. He was looking for a way. For them to stay together. For them to be stronger that anything. For their bond to be absolute.

Viktor only wanted one thing. To run. To run for their life. To run after him and hold him close. To reach out his hand and being able to touch him. He wanted him to be there. Close. By his side. He had never been honest either. He had never wondered why the kisses, the hugs, the tender touches, the loving whispers. The reason behind him giving up his career. For a whole year. For him. For a guy he saw only occasionally. A recording had been enough to make him give up everything. His whole being. To dedicate himself to his growth. To that man. To that pure and beautiful soul that captivated him everyday.

There was a reason for all this.

Viktor knew it. And like Yuuri, he didn’t want to admit it.

Behind all the jokes and laughs, was fear. Hidden. Of repeating old mistakes. Of reading in Yuuri’s heart words that were not to be found. He wanted his everything. He wanted to make him yours. To be his. More than Yuuri could ever imagine. His frenzy state was the only thing keeping him sane. From screaming his lungs out. From going after Yuuri. From tying him up. From tearing apart the ice that once brought them together.

All so he could not run away again.

He looked down at the ring he was wearing. And realised. That they were united. That they were one since that day. Since forever actually. They would always find each other on the ice. Attracted by magic, by one another.


End file.
